Do you ever notice that the things you say to yourself are really judgmental or that you are your own worst critic? This is an ongoing reality for me and I’ve found it impacts so many others. In the midst of Covid 19, we have so much more time to be alone with our thoughts, which can cause us to get stuck with the inner critic. I want to share some helpful ways I’ve found to fight back against my inner critic, and I hope these are useful for you to
Proactively surround yourself with helpful or positive messages. This is an effective way to proactively combat the critic and be ready when it shows up to help to create more balanced and positive thoughts. For some, this may mean writing out positive affirmations such as “I trust myself”, “I have a purpose” or “I choose to focus on the positive” and putting it where you will see it. For others, it may mean listening to your favourite song that has positive or uplifting messages.
Notice when the critic surfaces and starts to tell you that you aren’t enough, are doing something wrong, or won’t be able to achieve your goal. When you are able to notice the critical thoughts then you are able to work on challenging them. We all have different internal or external messages or thoughts that are separate from the inner critic including nurturing, reasonable, confident or resilient messages or thoughts. Listen for these messages and choose to put your focus there and look for ways to strengthen them. A simple way to do this may be asking yourself what would my best friend tell me?
Don’t always believe your thoughts and feelings are accurate. Our negative thoughts are often based on us making a guess or assuming something about a situation with minimal evidence. Feelings come and go and change constantly throughout the day based on many other factors. When you notice particularly negative thoughts and feelings remember HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired). If any of these needs have not been met, address them first before acting on the negative thought or feeling.
Take care of yourself. Using self care in these moments when the critic shows up is also very important. Take a break, talk with people that are supportive or life giving, listen to or play music, build or fix something, create art, organize your space. There are endless possibilities to bring you some relief and give you an opportunity to experience feelings you like to give you space from the critic until you are ready to deal with the critic.
Therapeutic support is also a helpful option. Often times, talking with someone who is impartial or neutral about your thoughts and feelings brings a different perspective for you. It also teaches you more about how to notice, challenge and change the messages the inner critic may be trying to convince you of. If you want help in building these strengths to combat the inner critic, please reach out! I would love to support you in this way
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